• Home
    • About Me
  • Couples Therapy
    • Couples Therapy
    • Discernment Counseling
    • Pre-marital & Pre-engagement Counseling
    • Anger and Marriage
    • The ADHD Effect on Marriage
    • Good Faith Estimate
  • Blended Families
    • Blended Families
    • CO-PARENTING / PARALLEL PARENTING
    • Parenting / Step-Parenting
    • Before you Blend
  • Blog
  • The Blended Blueprint
  • Resources
    • Resources
    • Children’s Books
      • Blended Bree
  • Courses
    • The Premarital Blended Blueprint
    • The Brief Blended Blueprint
    • The Complete Blended Blueprint
  • Contact

Helping Blended Families

"Professional expertise and practical knowledge"

May 10, 2023 by Julee Peterson Leave a Comment

Why is Mother’s Day so Awkward in Blended Families?

It’s awkward because you’re not the mother, but you are doing all of the momming when your stepchildren are home. Care flows from the top down. That means adults care for children and that’s the position stepparents are in, giving care and not necessarily receiving any care back. But. That is what being a mother is all about. Biological mothers enjoy the softness of time, shared memories and a bond receiving love back from their children.

Stepmothers are starting at square-one, building a relationship from the ground up and lack the biological connection, shared bonds of good times and memories. Stepmothers receive little back (emotionally speaking) from their stepchildren and that’s tough because stepmothers are putting time, energy and care into the family. So instead of expecting a celebration around the tasks that end up as your responsibilities – perhaps turn it around and make Mother’s Day about mothering.

What is there to celebrate about your stepchildren? What would be nice for them to hear coming from an adult that isn’t their parent? How might you influence positive change by listing all the things you feel they do right and are good at? How might you fill the hole of a disengaged mother? A mother who is no longer with them?

Flowers, candy and thanks are all nice, but meaning something to a child, becoming a person to count on and a person who shows up for them even though you’re not their real parent – that’s a gift that’s bound to pay back. So find that Hallmark card for mother’s day and write a note for your stepchild to read. Will they cherish it forever? Maybe not. But each year on Mother’s Day they’ll come to know you and the good parts of themselves through a stepmom who took the time to care about them each year – and as they grow, they’ll realize that you didn’t have to do that. This is what bonds are made of. Giving is what builds relationships, fine tunes friendships and helps blend a family.

Related

Filed Under: Blended Family Relations

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Quick Navigation

  • Couples Therapy
    • Pre-marital & Pre-engagement Counseling
    • Anger and Marriage
    • Discernment Counseling
    • The ADHD Effect on Marriage
    • Good Faith Estimate
  • Blended Families
    • CO-PARENTING / PARALLEL PARENTING
    • Coaching Services
    • Before you Blend
    • Blended Family Statistics
  • Resources
  • About Me
  • Blog
  • Let me help you

I am a member of




  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

Recent Posts

  • Why is Mother’s Day so Awkward in Blended Families?
  • Teaching Your Children Healthy Habits
  • New Year. Same Problems.
  • Did You Marry The Wrong Person or is a Core Pattern Holding Your Relationship Back?
  • Spring has sprung…
Julee Peterson
  • Home
  • Couples Therapy
  • Blended Families
  • Blog
  • The Blended Blueprint
  • Resources
  • Courses
  • Contact
Material on this website is for informational, educational and humorous purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional services of any kind. Use of this website does not establish a therapeutic relationship and it’s understood Julee Peterson does not assume any liability based on the information provided on this website.
Email: julee@helpingblendedfamilies.com
All content © Julee Peterson @ helpingblendedfamilies.com 2016 Unauthorized use/duplication of this material without written permission is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Julee Peterson @ Helpingblendefamilies.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
WordPress Dashboard
...another Custom Wordpress Website by Mike Mueller Hi!