Couple’s Therapy
Coming Back from Conflict
Has your hopeful romance declined into repetitive fights, disillusionment and disconnection?
How can there possibly be hope to save a marriage or partnership when hard feelings line the heart. Conflict is the pathway to intimacy as it shows the spots where you’re not understanding your partner and your partner isn’t understanding you – that’s why there is conflict.
Everyone wants to be understood and to feel known in their relationships. Conflict is painful so we defend and avoid it; however, with the help of a counselor it is possible to come to understand the nuances causing the conflict.
We may not be able to change our partners and it is possible to understand them better, build compassion for the differences and come to terms with what isn’t changeable.
Finding Hope
Let’s dispel the incorrect 50% divorce rate
That’s right, the 50% divorce rate is wrong, and should not be repeated as fact or reported as fact.
According to the book The Good News About Marriage the statistic is actually probably closer to 20 – 25 percent for first marriages and 31 percent for all marriages (first and subsequent marriages). (Whitehead, 2014) It’s been reported that the divorce rate for second marriages is high at 65% and 73% for third marriages; however, the statistics as reported by Shaunti Feldhahn and Tally Whitehead’s book The Good News About Marriage (2014) are:
An estimated current rate of divorce for first marriages in the US is 20-25%
31% for all marriages
34% for remarriages
Couple’s therapy works-even if only one half of the couple attends
A couple functions like a system and when one part of the system changes, the other part is forced to respond differently creating room for the relationship to change and grow in different ways.
However, when both halves of a couple are present together in therapy and both parties are willing and actively leaning-in toward an effort to make the relationship better – change will happen more quickly.
No one is born knowing how to be relational and how to have a “good relationship.”
We learn from our families of origin and whatever they teach us or don’t teach us is what we bring to our current relationships.
Those relational skills may or may not work with the person you’ve chosen to have a commited relationship with. The good news, is new skills can be learned and new ways of relating can help the relationship mend.
Why work with me?
I am a Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist and my practice is completely focused on working with couples.
Generally, once the couples are feeling attached and understood they are able to shape their families together. I use Attachment Theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy to get to the heart of issues.
EFT is empirically proven, showing that 70-75% of couples feel their relationship is no longer in distress and 90% of couples report an improvement in their relationship. Practicing through Emotionally Focused Therapy allows me to help couples interrupt their repetitive negative pattern and learn to hear each other and understand each other on a deeper emotional level. I create a safe environment and work to validate both points of view.
Are you part of a blended family?
For faster results before, or to enhance future 1:1 sessions, run through my Brief Blended Blueprint.
Ready to take the next step?
Book a free 20-minute consultation to discuss your unique needs and explore how I can help you create a thriving family.