Oh. It’s that time of year again. Oh! It’s that time of year again! Oh? It’s that time of year AGAIN? Different inflections in your voice can change a sentence and your blended family interactions. It’s all in the chosen approach. Feelings don’t have to match the action.
It is possible to “notice” a feeling and not act on it and this is the key to distinguishing whether acting on an emotional impulse is helpful or harmful. Rising above impulses to control your own emotions is a pinnacle of maturity and restraining any negative actions can go a long way in showing love, care and kindness.
So, as Valentine’s Day approaches in your blended family and you find yourself mulling over the pros and cons of V-daying or not V-daying, challenge yourself to make an intentional well thought out choice, rather than an impulsive emotional action, toward someone you may not feel very Valentiney toward. See what happens? Does it help build the blended family bridge in a better direction? Even building slowly, one slat at a time, is better than increasing the distance away from the goal of getting along.