Do you have anger issues?
- Are you quick to criticize?
- When you are upset with your partner, do you make aggressive or insulting signs with your hands or face?
- Do you ever pretend not to hear your partner when you’re angry? Or do you give them the “cold shoulder” by staying silent and not talking to them for days? (give yourself a point for each question)
- When angry, do you want to punish your partner or make them feel bad?
- Do you shout in anger, or hold a grudge? (give yourself a point for each question)
- When mad at your partner, do you refuse to have sex with your him or her?
- Do you curse or deliberately insult your partner, or resist doing what they want?
- Do you threaten your partner or to end the relationship? Ex: “I can’t do this anymore!” “I should just leave!”
- Does your partner, or others in your home, fear you?
- Do you grab and break things when angry?
Total Points:
SCORING: Give yourself 1 point for every “yes” and zero points for every “no.”
WHAT YOUR POINTS MEAN:
0 points. You have an anger-free relationship.
You have learned how to control your negative emotions. Your relationships thrive and anger is kept in check. Your family and friends feel safe and happy around you. There may be other issues in your relationship that could benefit from professional counseling.
1 – 3 points. Anger is present in your relationship.
You can definitely benefit from professional counseling and addressing your anger. Your anger maybe affecting your family in negative ways.
More than 3 points. Damaging anger is part of how you relate. The more points you received over ‘3 points,’ the more damaging your anger is toward your relationships and family life. The more anger, the more likely your relationship is to not be peaceful.
You would benefit greatly from professional counseling and working on your anger issues. Intense expressions of anger ruin relationships, make people resent and fear you and leave you feeling alone and disrespected.
Note: If there is violence in your relationship, this goes beyond Anger Management and into Domestic Violence. If there is violence in your relationship, you need to get outside help immediately.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800.799.SAFE (7233)
